Unanticipated Comfort: A Therapist in Bel Air, MD Shares Surprising Tips for Supporting Loved Ones Through Grief
Hi! It's your therapist in Bel Air, MD here again with some more helpful tips! Many people may not know this, but I lost my mom exactly a year ago to cancer. This has been an eye-opening experience as a therapist because I have often reflected on comments that my clients have shared with me after they have lost someone.
I now feel like I have firsthand knowledge of how many feel after losing a parent, and it just sucks. Today, I want to share some unexpected but deeply compassionate tips for supporting loved ones through the grieving process.
Shared Experience with Grief
Losing a loved one, especially a parent, is a journey I never thought I would fully understand until it happened to me. The pain, the emptiness, the myriad of emotions – it's a shared experience that binds us together.
My Mother and I (2021)
There were so many times where loved ones have tried to support me in the best ways they know how, but to be honest, most of the time I needed another kind of support. But I just couldn’t effectively communicate my needs because I was just so distraught.
Now that the loss isn’t so fresh, I am able to reflect over the past year and identify ways that my loved ones could have supported me. It’s not their fault, they were doing the best they could and I appreciated that so much! But what I’ve found is that support isn’t one size fits all. It’s important to keep your specific loved one in mind when you are trying to provide comfort to them.
Here are some tips that can help you if you want help a loved one right after a loss that most people don’t often think about. As we navigate this difficult path, let's explore ways to provide comfort and support that go beyond the conventional.
Understanding Grief
Grief is a complex and individualized experience. There's so much more to it than meets the eye. In my journey, I've discovered the unexpected facets of grief that aren't often talked about. Understanding these nuances is key to providing genuine and compassionate support.
An Approach From a Therapist in Bel Air, MD
As a therapist, I bring both professional expertise and personal experience to the table. It's not just about offering sympathy; it's about embracing a therapeutic approach rooted in unexpected compassion. Let's explore strategies that acknowledge the depth of grief and offer comfort in unexpected ways.
Practical Tips for Compassionate Support
Most of The Time Just Holding Space is Enough
Honoring Memories Creatively: Encourage creative ways to remember and celebrate the life of the lost loved one.
Acts of Thoughtfulness: Small, thoughtful gestures can make a significant impact. A handwritten note or a homemade meal can provide comfort.
Validation of Emotions: Acknowledge and validate the range of emotions your loved one is experiencing. Sometimes, just listening without judgment is the most powerful form of support. Also, don’t take it personally if your loved one lashes out or does not return your phone call.
Creating a Safe Space: Establish an environment where your loved one feels comfortable expressing their feelings without fear of judgment or expectation.
Remembering Significant Dates: Be mindful of important anniversaries and birthdays, offering support during potentially challenging times.
Unexpected Compassion in Action
Through real-life examples, I've witnessed the power of unexpected compassion in action. These strategies not only provide solace but also strengthen the bonds between individuals, fostering a sense of shared humanity during challenging times.
Examples
Sending a door dash gift certificate- Trust me, when you are smacked in the face with grief, you don’t feel like thinking about food let alone cooking!
Asking if they would like company- There is a tradition of visiting those who have recently lost someone. This is a kind gesture, but ask before you show up. They may not be up for entertaining anyone at the moment so make sure you give them the option.
Asking if they need help with young children- This is a biggie! A friend of mine showed up at my mother’s funeral just to watch my toddlers so I can fully concentrate on the service. I can’t tell you how much this meant to me. Other family members offered to watch my kids as I packed up my mother belongings from her home.
Check in Months Later- We often reach out right after someone looses a loved one, but the most impactful follow ups were months after my mother passed away.
Feel free to think outside the box!
Community Resources in Bel Air, MD
In our local community of Bel Air, MD, there are resources available to support those grieving. From support groups to counseling services, these resources contribute to the healing process. Community is a vital aspect of navigating grief, and knowing what's available locally can make a significant difference.
Balancing Self-Care for Supporters
Supporting someone through grief can take a toll on your emotional well-being. It's crucial to balance compassionate care for others with self-care. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup.
Why Seek Support From a Therapist in Bel Air, MD?
If you find yourself navigating the challenging terrain of grief, know that you don't have to face it alone. As a therapist in Bel Air, MD, I am here to offer a compassionate and understanding space for you to explore, express, and heal.
Grieving is a deeply personal experience, and having a supportive guide by your side can make a significant difference. Whether you've recently lost a loved one or are still grappling with past losses, therapy provides a safe and non-judgmental space to navigate the complexities of grief. Your family and friends may want to help, but they often do not have the tools to give you the space to feel all of those ugly feelings and that’s ok. That’s what therapists are here for!
Take the First Step
Chenelle Ellie, LCSW-C, Therapist in Bel Air, MD
Are you ready to take the first step towards healing. Seeking therapy is an act of courage and self-compassion. Together, we can work towards understanding, acceptance, and eventually, finding a sense of peace amidst the pain.
If you are looking for a therapist in Bel Air, MD, reach out. I am a black therapist in MD that specializes in relationship anxiety and mother daughter issues, so I have a unique perspective in working with grieving loved ones.
Grief is a journey, and my goal is to make that journey a bit more bearable for you. Let's embark on this journey together, and remember, support is just a message away. Your Healing Begins Here.